Thursday, December 1, 2016

Still Crook

I spent the past few days desperately trying to convince myself that, despite all evidence to the contrary, I technically still had lungs.

Now I am painfully reminded of the existence of my lungs every minute or two because they are filled with pain-flavoured gunk and are quite miffed about this fact.

And yet, I can't help but notice that in my previous post I elected to assign an arbitrary five-digit number to the simpleton of a cell that kicked off this misery and for the second time since I started this blog, I managed to inadvertently produce a five-digit prime number.

If it happens once, it's an anecdote. If it happens twice, it's data. That is definitely how logic works and any attempts to explain otherwise will be destroyed by the unshakeable edifice of confirmation bias.

Monday, November 28, 2016

Fucking Cold

This was my day.

Me: I think I will accomplish many things (or at least update that ratty old blog I used to have).

Sinus Cell #14939: Hey! I found this neat particle! You know what would be really cool? Making a billion more of them! And then dying!

Other Sinus Cells: Wow! That is cool! Let's all participate in this new trend!

Human rhinovirus: *goes viral*

Wednesday, November 9, 2016

Game of Thrones

The reason Winterfell was conquered and its owners killed or scattered is because they were absolutely dedicated to playing the game of thrones but also very dedicated to playing it badly.

They were aristocrats through and through. Their support for the common people, though often expressed, was completely disingenuous; their sole concern was power and the maintenance thereof. However, the support of the common people is a substantial asset in maintaining power, and their main skill was convincing those common people that their greedy violent aristocrats were somehow "better" than anyone else's greedy violent aristocrats. Leveraging that popularity could have kept them supplied with wealth and power for thousands of years, but they threw that away in support of an incompetent failure simply because it was their "turn" to have power. Starting a war and screwing over the common people economically because of their aristocratic notions of whose "turn" it was to take power didn't end well for any of them and they have only themselves to blame.

This is not a commentary on any recent American elections. Why would you think it was?

PS— Congratulations America for making Brexit not the dumbest electoral decision to happen in 2016!

Thursday, October 6, 2016

My Mum Is A Conversational /dev/null

You can say anything to her and she will passively acknowledge having heard and understood it, but it will either go right over her head or right through it— in one ear and out the other.

Tuesday, September 6, 2016

Stupid Café Fucked My Order

The stupid café down the street fucked up my order. I asked them for a flat white and they gave me a latte.

The place is amazingly cheap so I'm normally inclined to overlook mistakes, but giving me a latte instead of a flat white is not a mistake I can overlook because I am lactose intolerant and a latte has, at a guess, about six times as much milk as a flat white.

At least this place understood the meaning of "decaf." Given my brain's hostility to the idea of sleeping regularly every night, consuming any amount of caffeine would be a Very Bad Idea®.

Sunday, September 4, 2016

Sleep Status: AYFKM

Having been up for over 24 hours, I finally went to bed and actually managed to fall asleep.

For two hours.

Then I woke up and couldn't go back to sleep.

I lay in bed in the dark for awhile to maybe hint to my brain that I was still bone-shatteringly exhausted and maybe I should remain unconscious until I was properly rested, but my brain advised me that this was unnecessary— it's the middle of the afternoon (despite the clock insisting it was 1 in the morning), and a two-hour nap should be more than sufficient to keep me coherent until bedtime despite the fact that "bedtime" only exists hypothetically.

So I've been up since then. And my serious post has been languishing in drafts still half-written waiting for me to be coherent enough to finish it.

Sunday, August 21, 2016

Little Things That BUG Me #11

Still not up for a proper post but I can probably manage a LTTBM so here goes.

When a work featuring non-human characters (alien, robot, talking animal, etc) neglects to replace human-specific language with more appropriate terms, that bugs me a bit. Why, exactly, is the alien who has never even seen a human before excusing his faults by saying: "I'm only human?" It doesn't make sense.

But what bugs me more is when such a work replaces species-agnostic terms with derivatives that specifically refer to the non-human nature of the speakers. The word "everybody" does not make any reference to species, so if you are an adult who is creepily obsessed with a certain children's cartoon, be very careful with your language or I might have to sever your leg.

Just to make things a little more complicated, all of my writing assumes the word "person" is a species-neutral term for any social sapient who might be present; mandraga are clearly not human but they'd be quite upset if a bigot declared they're not people. Not everyone shares this assessment (being as humans are the only people we know of IRL, it's not like the matter is easily settled by common usage), but I've been using it that way so long that seeing a non-human character replace "person" with a species-specific term just bugs me.